It has been a long time since I last blogged. I recall that it was about a lippy that I liked so much. After that, there was none. There were all sorts of reasons why I had not popped into the blogosphere like I used to.
Firstly, I was busy. My schedule changed from shifting hours to a steady 9-hour office work schedule. It was heavenly, to be honest. I do not need to look like the dead every time I walk inside the wards, trying to be chipper where in fact I feel like I had just clawed my way out of the grave. With the nice work schedule came TONS of paperwork and a couple hours of overtime. Top that with irate patients who do not pay attention to the queuing and accuse you of missing their number. I remember a shouting match once with a patient…don’t ask me what happened. After work, I go straight home and sleep away the stress.
Secondly, I was at a point in my life that I needed change. I didn’t know what was it until my best friend decided to PM me in the middle of my work hours to tell me that she and I would go on a trip to Singapore…ASAP. This was a complete turn around, to be honest. I NEEDED the vacay. I wanted it. However, there was something else to the SG trip that I immediately jumped on it.
Lastly, I’m busy finding a job in a foreign country while slowly starving myself just to save money that I had brought with me.
The last bit was a big eye opener. For one thing, I am alone (apart from my best friend) in a foreign country without any relatives nearby. Another thing is that…its HARD. Life of a foreign worker is not a bed of roses.
It made me appreciate the blood, sweat , and tears (as if i had not appreciated that enough already) what our relatives do in order to give the life they want for us. Being away from my family for the first time is hard even if I tell myself that it is for the best, even if what I am doing would help my family back home, and even if I am with my best friend and have countless more friends in this country. I could not count the times I had cried myself to sleep at night, wishing I was back at home in my bed watching anime (or stay up playing video games) and waking up to my mum’s angry nagging.
Being away makes you appreciate more what you had left behind because they are not physically there anymore. You realize that you had taken for granted all the things you had before you left. You realize that you miss arguing with your siblings, listening to your mum’s berating, or even your dog’s irritating barking at 2AM. There are loads that you realize were there that you miss because everything back home was already familiar and you’re now pushed way out into something out of your comfort zone.
Despite missing everything that is 1,463 miles away, you cant help but move forward. Strutting through the jagged street of this next venture in your life. You cant help but struggle and walk on, showing them–and most especially yourself–that you can survive all this on your own. It’s difficult and the road ahead is mired with dangerous things that you cannot name. In the end, after all the shit you go through, perhaps there will be something pretty on the horizon to greet you.
Author’s Note: I had to stop several times before continuing because I was tearing up. I had to wipe away my tears. Kudos to the OFWs around the world! I salute you!