Being in a long distance relationship is not always rainbows and sunshine no matter how much you wished it to be so. Conflicts and fights are unavoidable in every relationship, and it is harder when you’re miles apart. These often stem from the obvious reasons that plague every single LDR such as time zone differences, busy schedules, insensitivity, and (rarely) close-mindedness. Sometimes we forget that we enter into this relationship fully aware of the many obstacles that we are about to encounter. Full blown arguments break out over petty things. Oftentimes, when these arguments remain unresolved, both parties grow more distant than ever before, eventually separating. The thing you’ve both been working for, been putting extra effort for, will all be for naught.
Yes, I’ve had my share of conflicts. So. Arguments. Louie and I would be able to resolve them in a matter of minutes, and some would practically take days before it would all blow over then we would talk properly again. It is hard and frustrating, and I end up bawling like a baby more often than not every time we fight.
My friends would often tease me “Ikain na lang yan problema mo (Eat your problems away!)” every time I run to them for support. They would then distract me with food. I love them for that.
I truly believe in the power of the stars. Yes, yes. Stop laughing. I also use the zodiac as a guide. Who doesn’t? My SO is a Pisces. I’m a Scorpio. There are times when I don’t understand him. I don’t like it when we argue. It feels like hitting a brick wall with my SO–he gets immediately withdrawn–and I’m stuck with waiting until he is in the mood to talk. Typical of a Pisces. *scoffs*
Stars and predictions aside, here are a few tips to help you and your SO whenever things get a little shaky:
5. GIVE SPACE AND COOL DOWN
So both of you had a full blown argument and both of you are steaming at the ears. You’re probably wanting to throw your phone in frustration and you feel like crying because the fear of possibly losing him/her looms beyond the horizon. Just chill. Take a deep breath. Now release. Feel a bit better? Good. Trying to resolve the argument very early when both of you are angry at each other wouldn’t exactly solve anything. It might even be a catalyst to another drama. Say goodbye for a while, telling your SO that you both needed time to cool your heads, and when you’re ready, call. But don’t take too long though. A few minutes to calm down is enough. The heat from the fight has probably evaporated by then, which brings us to the next one…
4. NEVER SHOUT
Shouting or yelling is never nice. It hurts both parties. It is better to discuss things like the adults that you both are about what went wrong and whose fault was it exactly. This goes in hand with…
3. LISTEN AND BE OPEN
Being close minded is not healthy within any relationship, especially when it comes to arguments. Whenever you’re discussing yours or your SO’s side of the story, listen. Listen until he/she is done talking.
2. BE HONEST, TALK, AND ACCEPT
Yes, Mr. Darcy. I love you, too.
Don’t just discuss what had transpired within the argument and what the cause was. Discuss to your SO how you felt. Accept your faults. Accept that you made a mistake. Denying it would hurt you both. Guys, this doesn’t make you less of a Man when you share your feelings. We women appreciate this. Lastly…
1. FORGIVE AND FORGET
Learn to forgive. Learn to apologize. Move on from conflict and put it firmly behind you both.
Even Mr. Darcy knows how to say sorry. *swoons*
I hope that these tips help you and your SO go through the trials and hardships of a long distance relationship.
How about those who are not in a long distance relationship? How did you resolve conflicts between you and your love? Did some of these work for you as well? Tell me your thoughts. Comment down below and thanks for reading.
Author’s Note: I do not own all the graphics and animated gifs in this blog entry.
This post was inspired by LDR Blogs prompt: Conflict Resolution